


This is just who I am

by abraxos_is_toothless



Series: Learning Eachother and Learning to Love [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Confused Neil Josten, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Soft Andrew Minyard, Soft Neil Josten, Someone help, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, sexuality talks, they say i love you in my world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24527566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abraxos_is_toothless/pseuds/abraxos_is_toothless
Summary: Andrew and Neil have a little discussion on Neil’s sexuality, after Nicky gives our little junkie some enlightening information.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Learning Eachother and Learning to Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772548
Comments: 7
Kudos: 246





	This is just who I am

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know how the roof would look so don’t judge me please.

It had been roughly an hour, since Andrew had gone up to the roof, when Neil finally came up and found him. Always giving Andrew that time alone, before coming up to spend a few hours together. There was the scuff of shoes on the floor that indicated it was Neil, letting him know he was moving closer, so he wouldn’t startle him. He hated him for knowing to do that. For knowing _him_.

He was leaning with his back to the wall facing the edge of the roof, watching as the sun began to set, when Neil sat down beside him. No one would ever get to know this except his idiot, but Andrew found he quite liked looking at the colours of the sky when sun rose/set in the sky. Turning his head, he saw that Neil was in his ‘Minyard 03’ hoodie and black sweats, causing him to lose focus as he always did when he saw him in Andrew’s clothes. Not knowing where the sudden urge came from, he pulled the junkie over to sit in his lap, liking the way he was back dropped by the colours. The paler colours contrasted his bright blue eyes, making them stand out more. He looked so beautiful it made his heart stop just a little and his breath caught in his throat. Neil just smiled _that_ smile as he brought his knees up, feet flat on the ground so they could be used to lean against; lifting Neil’s hands to rest on his chest after assuring him that it was a yes. When he spoke, Andrew knew something stupid was going to come out of the idiot’s mouth, because when was it not?

“Hi, Drew.”

_See, stupid._

The only reply he gave was an “mmm”, watching _that_ smile grow bigger, while placing his hand on the redhead’s hips under his shirt and rubbing his thumbs in soothing little circles. It was something he recently found to be calming, so whenever he was stressed, he’d lay his hand on whatever piece of skin he could reach and trace those little circles. Neil never batted an eye and carried on with what he was doing- whether it was having a conversation or working on his maths -like nothing was happening. People found it odd, but they’d stopped worrying about others opinions a long time ago.

“Nicky showed me some things today.”

“Let me guess, another stupid cat video? He’s been doing that a lot lately.”

It was true that whenever his annoying cousin found some new ‘funny’ cat videos, he had to go around and show the whole goddamn team. At least three times each. It was placed in front of Andrew for all of two seconds before a knife was branded and the pest yelped, running off to someone else. He only liked when his junkie showed him things like that, watching the way he giggled like a kid a candy store.

“No, it was useful this time. He showed me things about sexualities, and I think I figured out why I only swing for you.”

“Will you tell me about it?”

Everyone always got confused with him, whenever he said he didn’t swing, and their argument was always the same. _Oh, but you’re with Andrew_. Neil would get upset and frustrated with himself sometimes, because he didn’t know how to explain it to them, and it would take Andrew a few hours to convince Neil that it didn’t matter what he was. That Andrew loved him all the same, no matter what others said about him. He pulled him down so that his head was sideways, cheek resting on Andrew’s shoulder, and moved his arms to go around his waist. His own hands moved to accommodate the shift, with one hand on the idiot’s thigh, the other alternating between running up and down his spine and twisting through the mop of red curls.

“It took me a while but, the term that felt right to me was Demisexual. It means needing an emotional connection before I can find that person sexually attractive. This is true, because I didn’t originally notice you that way, not until after we started our game of truth for truth. I cared about you early on yes, but I didn’t start to think about it like that until after that Christmas...”

Neither of them liked to bring up Easthaven or Neil going to Evermore. Andrew placed a few light kisses to the top of his head, just to show that everything was alright. That he hadn’t set of any triggers.

“Kissing those girls while we were on the road wasn’t really out of want; I guess I just wanted to know why everyone got so worked up about it? It wasn’t horrible I suppose, I just found it boring. There was nothing in me that felt like what other people spoke about when they kissed someone. And I still don’t understand finding someone ‘hot’ as Nicky would put it. I see someone and I can say that yeah, they’re pretty or whatever, but how do you see someone in the street and think about what it would be like to kiss them? What it would be like to get them into bed?” Taking a few deep breaths, he moved his face into the crook of Andrew’s neck, making him shiver before continuing, “I knew what arousal felt like while on the run too, but it was never appealing to me. I could never get to that point, I never worked that way, but with you it’s different. I can get there with you because we’re getting there together and you make it fun.”

Everything made sense now, when one had the correct information. It explained why the junkie was oblivious when people flirted with him. He didn’t know that it wasn’t just them friendly, that they weren’t just talking to him for the sake of talking. However it clued him onto something else...

“Is- Is that why you get so curious about what I had with Roland? I always thought it was a jealousy thing.” Saying that made Neil burrow further into his neck, but he tightened the grip in his hair, pulling him back so he could look at the idiot. The blush and freckles made him want to push him onto his back and kiss him senseless.

“It was partly a jealous thing yes,” Neil flicked his nose when he smirked, “but I also wanted to know the whole ‘casual sex’ thing worked. I don’t get it simply because; the only thing I can see is you, all the time. I don’t want anyone else.”

“Silly rabbit.”

“Yeah.”

Andrew kissed him then, slowly, carefully, one hand in his hair and the other on the back of his neck. Neil’s own hands gripping the front of his shirt, not moving until Andrew said, “hips and above.” He’d always believed jealousy to be a petty feeling, but jealousy on the boy in his lap gave him a very pouty look, which was something he liked the look of. After a few minutes, Neil pulled back with a gasp, lips slightly swollen.

“You don’t mind? That I’m Demi?”

“That’s just who you are. I love you just fine like this.”

They didn’t stumble back into their dorm room until hours later, long after the sun had set, and their lips were bruised from kisses.

Turns out Neil had left in the middle of Kevin waxing poetry about Jeremy Knox; it was an understatement to say the striker was pissed off.

Neither of them cared.


End file.
